MOTHERFUCKERS

I locked my bike outside of my apartment for one evening. I got home around midnight... an old man was there doing something next to my bike. I thought he was pumping his bike... an invisible bike perhaps. I didn't check. I went inside and realized what was going one, ran outside, TOO LATE. The mother fucker has stolen both of my bike wheels. I feel violated. I want to beat the shit out of the guy's gut and wear his sphincter for shoes. Then, I will kick his nuts until they are rotten like dried up cherries. My bike is everything to me. I commute everyday with it. I do my grocery with it. I basically can't live without my bike. I can't believe someone would steal it. And its not even some amazing wheel, but I did just replace the tires few months ago... expensive tires for the winter. MOTHER FUCKER. I can almost feel sympathy for anyone but a bicycle thief... that's like... the ultimate sin in my book. If I ever see that fucker again, I'm going to not only beat him up. I'm going to bike over his fuck'n hands and he will never steal ever again.

This is not my bike. Just an example of the devastation. My bike is actually ten thousand times better than this. And both wheels are stolen. Stolen by a worthless piece of shit.